My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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