there's paper in my vomit.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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