But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I need water and some morals
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
