Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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