Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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