Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
