I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
