I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
