I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
