Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
