There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
