I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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