he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
