How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
im on a boat
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