I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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