Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
