It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
