talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
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I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
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I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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