First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
