so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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