It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
