Ambien. No doubt about it.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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