so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
my shit smells like andre
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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