so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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