the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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