And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
