Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
