sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
