She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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