is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
