Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
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i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
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I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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