so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
