he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
