When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize