i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize