Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
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