Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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