Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
