We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
