I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
