Pappa wants mamma naked
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
