I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
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knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'm always down for nudity.
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