Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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