He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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