Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize