it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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