god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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