How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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