erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
