the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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