Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
