everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i out mim tonsoeep
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
