Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
