do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
