So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
