Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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