i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
