dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
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