I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
