"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
