i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
