If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize