we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
